Blog Archives - Pat Armitstead - harness your authentic self expression

How hard is it to attract your potential customer?

7/27/2014

THE GREATEST STUMBLING BLOCK

The following list demonstrates just how hard it is to really attract your potential customer. You may find thinking about this really useful as you start to put in place a mixed media marketing campaign for your own business.

The first time a man looks at an ad he doesn’t see it
The second time he doesn’t notice it
· The third time he is conscious of its existence
· The fourth time he faintly remembers having seen it
· The fifth time he reads the ad
· The sixth time he reads it through and says “ oh brother!”
· The seventh time he says “ here’s that confounded ad again”
· The eighth time he wonders if it amounts to anything
· The ninth time he will ask his neighbour if he has tried it
· The tenth time he will wonder how the advertiser makes it pay
· The eleventh time he will think it must be a good thing
· The twelfth time he thinks it might be worth something
· The thirteenth time he remembers he once wanted such a thing
· The fourteenth time he is tantalised because he cannot afford it
· The fifteenth time he thinks he will buy it someday
· The sixteenth time he makes a memorandum of it
· The seventeenth time he swears at his poverty
· The eighteenth time he counts his money carefully
· The nineteenth time he buys the article or asks his wife to buy it for him
· The twentieth time he will refer other people to your product

I believe this was written by a Thomas Smith in London in 1885

ANTIZAC - A Joyful Prescription for the UNhappiness Epidemic

7/21/2014

Forward
By Dr Robin Kelly

Human beings are meant to be joyful, light-hearted and happy. And yet at the start of the new millennium we, in the so-called sophisticated Western world, are witnessing an overwhelming epidemic of unhappiness like never before. In recent years we have medicalised this unhappiness – in 2008, more than 164 million prescriptions for antidepressants were written by doctors in the USA.
This in my humble opinion is silly – very silly. Because the roots of our problems are not chemical – rather they are to be found in our strained relationships with others, our world, and ourselves. We are in danger of losing sight of our souls.

On the other hand Pat Armitstead, the world’s first Joyologist, and my good and trusted friend, is far from silly. Playful - yes; funny – rib-ticklingly so; and wise – as the wisest owl; but silly she is not. This short book is packed with surprising and valuable insights into Pat’s life’s work, and with her generous tips to help us regain our birth-right of joy. She shows us how we can become truly happy by helping others.

Moreover, she shows us that if we make a commitment to be joyful and to share this joy with others, our lives flow more smoothly as we experience true spiritual health and wealth.

Pat Armitstead’s ANTIZAC will sit proudly for many years to come in my waiting room bookshelf.

I will prescribe it freely.

Dr Robin Kelly – NZ author of the award winning ‘The Human Hologram –Living Your Life in Harmony with the Unified Field.

www.robinkelly.co.nz

Flexible optimism - The path to wellbeing and productivity

7/18/2014

Our habits of thinking have consequences. We can come from either an optimistic or pessimistic viewpoint and neither is right or wrong, however an optimist will not be fazed by defeat. In fact optimists believe defeat is not their fault, and when they are confronted with difficult or trying situations they perceive it as a challenge and try harder.

They see bad situations as being simply due to circumstances, bad luck or something that someone else created. They see bad situations or events as temporary and related to one event only.

Pessimists on the other hand tend to think bad events or situations are their fault, that they will last a long time and get in the way of all further activity. They often imagine the worst, tend to give up more easily, their health can often suffer and they are more prone to depression.

Optimists by contrast, have unusually good health, perform better at work and in sport, tend to age well and may even live longer. It is perhaps important at this point to explain that a positive personality does not always mean you respond to adversity and success with optimism. There are many positive people who are not necessarily performing to optimum.

In Professor Martin Seligmans book “ Learned Optimism” he speaks of people being able to learn how to remain resilient in the face of defeat. Over 7 years of studies have now revealed that it is not an inborn trait and that it can be acquired. Your habitual way of explaining events Seligman calls your Explainatory Style.

There are 3 crucial elements of this and he calls them permanence, pervasiveness and personalisation.

People who give up easily tend to believe the bad events that happen are permanent while those who resist the notion of helplessness believe the causes are only temporary. It is not that optimists don’t experience failure and feel helpless. It is just that they very quickly bounce back and move on. Pessimists may take days or even months to spring back and after a major defeat may never bounce back.

The optimistic style of explaining success is seen in people who believe good events have permanent causes and they are actually more optimistic than those who think their successes are due to temporary causes.

The second notion of pervasiveness is seen as being specific or universal.

People who catastrophise tend to collapse in all areas and are the ones who make universal explanations for their failure, even when it may only strike one area. Those who make a more specific explanation may exhibit helplessness in that area yet remain strong in others. People who make permanent explanations for bad events will experience long lasting helplessness, while those who see them as temporary experience resilience.

The third element, personalization has two aspects, internal and external. Essentially when bad events occur we can blame ourselves or we can blame others. Those who blame themselves tend to demonstrate low self esteem as a consequence. Those who externalise or blame others do not lose self esteem when times are tough. Generally speaking they like themselves better than those who internalise. The optimistic style of explaining good events is again the reverse, that is people who believe they cause good things to occur tend to like themselves better than people who believe good things come from other people or outside circumstances.

For people who tend to be more pessimistic there are potential “trouble” spots. They are more likely to become depressed, they are more likely to be less productive, their physical health and immune response will be lowered and they will find life less pleasurable.

In learning to select and use different explanatory styles people build resilience and become better equipped to avoid depression and cope with difficult times. Seligman says in his book “Learned Optimism” “ Life inflicts the same setbacks and tragedies on the pessimist as on the optimist but the optimist weathers them better” . Becoming an optimist, or being more optimistic involves simply observing how you talk to yourself when you are experiencing a setback and then learning to speak to yourself from a more optimistic viewpoint.

Once you become aware of your way of explaining situations you can then learn 2 things to do to manage your pessimistic viewpoint or beliefs. The first is to use distraction and do something else when the pessimistic thoughts arise. The second is to dispute them, and this is the more effective long term management.

Suggestion….anytime you find yourself feeling low, angry, or anxious ask what it is you are saying to yourself? Some beliefs are simply not accurate. Any negative beliefs you might hold are actually distortions and you can challenge them. Repeated application of this process demonstrates that problems disappear or have far less import!

We were born to thrive. Below is a link to the movie Thrive. Well worth the time !!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lEV5AFFcZ-s#t=12

“In every cloud there is a silver lining”

7/18/2014

Let your creativity guide you ....
I found this tonight as I was sorting some old folders. I wrote it to baby Charlottes parents....she lost her limbs to meningococcal disease... the NZ'ers might recall.....

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charlotte_Cleverley-Bisman

I have in the last 13 years written over 10,000 pieces of mail I call Glad Mail. I share this one now to be a trigger perhaps for you find a signature piece of your own .!!!

this is the letter...

" They say “In every cloud there is a silver lining. My mother died in October last year. She had been very sick with Emphysema for about 11 years. The last 2 years of her life she was on oxygen continuously. I made a doll called Sylvie. Like the green one here only silver. 2 years ago Mum had a respiratory crisis and I went immediately to her side in Australia. I took that first Sylvie doll and left her with mum who lived another 18 months.

When mum died last year I bought Sylvie home.

Little did I know Sylvie’s journey was not over. I have a friend with a daughter who has a personality disorder. In the lead up to xmas I met her daughter for the first time and realized just how difficult life was for my friend. The thought crossed my mind ..”little joy in her life”

I put Sylvie in a basket with a collection of hand made trinkets and expressions of love. I called it my Joyology basket and I gave her Sylvie. The joy Sylvie brought my mum was passed on to my friend Ali.

I use Sylvie dolls in my talks now and I speak to people of the pain others move through. I encourage people to take time to reflect and give thanks for what they have in their lives. I also encourage people to consider others and the things they may be moving through at any one time.

I tell them “In every cloud there is a Sylvie reclining” This Sylvie is not perfect. None of the Sylvie dolls are. Each has turned out not quite the identical parallel picture we are told is beauty. Yet of course she is quite the most beautiful of all. She has a quality that brings joy, which is why I make them. A gift from the Creator to me, to be able to craft them.

I wish you moments of pleasure to ease you through this time.

What are your Signature Strengths ...and why would you want to know?

7/13/2014

Professor Martin Seligman, in New Zealand some time back, asked of the audience “Given the level of prosperity in this nation why is there so much depression and why is morale so low?”

From the work of Dr Martin Seligman has evolved a list of characteristics that epitomise the picture of an optimist. Intellectually they are far more creative, more decisive and effective problem solvers. From an interpersonal perspective they are found to be independent individuals who have a strong gift for persuasion. Pro-active rather than reactive, they are bigger risk takers and much more confident. They have a highly competitive nature and are assertive across all areas of operation. They manage their stress well by their positive view of what is occurring.

Motivationally, they seek challenges and are determined and committed to see things through. They are ambitious and apply enthusiasm to all activity. They are goal oriented and time efficient, and remain persistent and resourceful when under pressure. The display a go for it attitude which is infectious and supports their entrepreneurial skills. They are highly self motivated and demonstrate resilience during adversity or under trying conditions.

Go to www.authentichappiness.org and log in to see more of Seligmans resources
You may complete any of the questionnaires but the one I urge you to do is the VIA Signature strengths questionnaire. It will take approximately 20 minutes and you will receive immediate feedback, select your top 5 signature strengths and print them out.

List them below from the top first

1

2

3

4

5

Decide to take them with you wherever you go and use them in all situations. As you bring them to the fore in all that you do, whether it is in your job description or not you will notice your relationships improving. You will notice a shift in your perspective of events as you see them in a positive light and you will benefit , and so will others , from the gifts you have that you can use to contribute to make a difference.

Flexible optimism - The path to wellbeing and productivity

7/13/2014

Flexible optimism--The path to wellbeing and productivity

Our habits of thinking have consequences. We can come from either an optimistic or pessimistic viewpoint and neither is right or wrong, however an optimist will not be fazed by defeat. In fact optimists believe defeat is not their fault, and when they are confronted with difficult or trying situations they perceive it as a challenge and try harder. They see bad situations as being simply due to circumstances, bad luck or something that someone else created. They see bad situations or events as temporary and related to one event only.

Pessimists on the other hand tend to think bad events or situations are their fault, that they will last a long time and get in the way of all further activity. They often imagine the worst, tend to give up more easily, their health can often suffer and they are more prone to depression.

Optimists by contrast, have unusually good health, perform better at work and in sport, tend to age well and may even live longer. It is perhaps important at this point to explain that a positive personality does not always mean you respond to adversity and success with optimism. There are many positive people who are not necessarily performing to optimum.

In Professor Martin Seligmans book “ Learned Optimism” he speaks of people being able to learn how to remain resilient in the face of defeat. Over 7 years of studies have now revealed that it is not an inborn trait and that it can be acquired. Your habitual way of explaining events Seligman calls your Explainatory Style.

There are 3 crucial elements of this and he calls them permanence, pervasiveness and personalisation. ...getting a bit heavy duty here !!

People who give up easily tend to believe the bad events that happen are permanent while those who resist the notion of helplessness believe the causes are only temporary. It is not that optimists don’t experience failure and feel helpless. It is just that they very quickly bounce back and move on. Pessimists may take days or even months to spring back and after a major defeat may never bounce back.

The optimistic style of explaining success is seen in people who believe good events have permanent causes and they are actually more optimistic than those who think their successes are due to temporary causes.

The second notion of pervasiveness is seen as being specific or universal.

People who catastrophise tend to collapse in all areas and are the ones who make universal explanations for their failure, even when it may only strike one area. Those who make a more specific explanation may exhibit helplessness in that area yet remain strong in others. People who make permanent explanations for bad events will experience long lasting helplessness, while those who see them as temporary experience resilience.

The third element, personalization has two aspects, internal and external. Essentially when bad events occur we can blame ourselves or we can blame others. Those who blame themselves tend to demonstrate low self esteem as a consequence. Those who externalise or blame others do not lose self esteem when times are tough. Generally speaking they like themselves better than those who internalise. The optimistic style of explaining good events is again the reverse, that is people who believe they cause good things to occur tend to like themselves better than people who believe good things come from other people or outside circumstances.

For people who tend to be more pessimistic there are potential “trouble” spots. They are more likely to become depressed, they are more likely to be less productive, their physical health and immune response will be lowered and they will find life less pleasurable. .....as a generalisation!

In learning to select and use different explanatory styles people build resilience and become better equipped to avoid depression and cope with difficult times. Seligman says in his book “Learned Optimism” “ Life inflicts the same setbacks and tragedies on the pessimist as on the optimist but the optimist weathers them better” . Becoming an optimist, or being more optimistic involves simply observing how you talk to yourself when you are experiencing a setback and then learning to speak to yourself from a more optimistic viewpoint.

Once you become aware of your way of explaining situations you can then learn 2 things to do to manage your pessimistic viewpoint or beliefs. The first is to use distraction and do something else when the pessimistic thoughts arise. The second is to dispute them, and this is the more effective long term management.

Suggestion….anytime you find yourself feeling low, angry, or anxious ask what it is you are saying to yourself? Some beliefs are simply not accurate. Any negative beliefs you might hold are actually distortions and you can challenge them. Repeated application of this process demonstrates that problems disappear or have far less import!

Some work roles benefit from single minded optimism while others benefit when there is a blend of both optimism and pessimism. This is a very important leadership quality for modern business and is called “Flexible Optimism”.

Like to know more? Contact Pat

Auschwitz story .....

7/13/2014

From Ben Zanders book “The Art of Possibility”

Often the exerience of personal crisis or a failure will constitute a basis for the creation of a personal vision, which in turn becomes a framework for a life of possibility. Alice Kahana, an artist living in Houston, has a painful and vivid memory of her journey to Auschwitz as a fifteen year old girl.

On the way she became separated from her parents, and found herself in charge of her 8 year old brother. When the boxcar arrived she looked down and saw her brother was missing a shoe. “ Why are you so stupid!” she shouted at him, the way older sisters are inclined to do. “ Can’t you keep track of your things?”

This was nothing out of the ordinary except that these were the last words that were passed between them, for they were herded into different cars and never saw each other again.
Nearly 50 years later Alice is still living by a distinction that was conceived in that maelstrom. She vowed from that point not to say anything that would not stand as the last thing she ever said.

Is she 100% successful?
We would have to presume not. But no matter.
Such a distinction is not a standard to live up to, but a framework of possibility to live in to.
What do you think?

Auschwitz Story....

7/13/2014

From Ben Zanders book “The Art of Possibility”

Often the exerience of personal crisis or a failure will constitute a basis for the creation of a personal vision, which in turn becomes a framework for a life of possibility. Alice Kahana, an artist living in Houston, has a painful and vivid memory of her journey to Auschwitz as a fifteeen year old girl.

On the way she became separated from her parents, and found herself in charge of her 8 year old brother. When the boxcar arrived she looked down and saw her brother was missing a shoe. “ Why are you so stupid!” she shouted at him, the way older sisters are inclined to do. “ Can’t you keep track of your things?”

This was nothing out of the ordinary except that these were the last words that were passed between them, for they were herded into different cars and never saw each other again.

Nearly 50 years later Alice is still living by a distinction that was conceived in that maelstrom. She vowed from that point not to say anything that would not stand as the last thing she ever said.

Is she 100% successful?

We would have to presume not. But no matter.

Such a distinction is not a standard to live up to, but a framework of possibility to live in to.

How close to burnout are you?

7/11/2014

Lose your sense of humour and you risk burnout!

A friend in the health sector spoke to me yesterday of the high absenteeism she saw in the health area she worked in. She cited 2 out of every 8 people per shift were either not attending or changing rosters. She said they were going to manage that by publicly displaying and penalising absenteeism. I cringed inside!

She also said in the 15 or so years she had worked in one department there had been no staff meetings and team building excercises consisted of celebrating pregnancies by putting a notice up to see who would come to the event. Then she said there would be a period of lamenting regarding how few bothered to come! She is no longer a full time employee and after 15 years now is doing temp placements.

In all walks of life, more than anything else, people need to feel valued and appreciated. There are more and more examples of people valuing lifestyle and wellness above the dollar. The people I refer to are adults. People over time can believe they are powerless to change things so they stay in the same place, passive recipients of dictatorships and burocracy.

Dr. David Abramis at Cal State Long Beach has studied fun at work for years. He's discovered that people who have fun on the job are more creative, more productive, better decision-makers, and get along better with co-workers. They also have fewer absentee, late, and sick days than people who aren't having fun.

The benefits to a pleasant and happy workplace are that happy employees are more loyal and productive employees. The absenteeism and tardiness rate may decrease as people look forward to going to work. Can the benefits to having fun be measured? Yes, by comparing the absenteeism, tardiness, and turnover rates pre-program implementation. In addition, an employee satisfaction survey can reveal how employees feel about their jobs, the company, and company culture. Will your customer complaints decrease as they encounter happier employees?

Company activities can teach employees how working together as a team can be fun and productive. The use of fun and humor in the workplace must be appropriate in nature. To be good humoured is to be appropriately responsive. The humor should not be offensive to the ordinary or reasonable person. It is meant to encourage people and help us lighten up. Fun at work can even lead to alleviation of the inevitable boredom that arises out of dull, routine, and non-challenging tasks. Even schools recognized the importance of giving children recess breaks so that they might have the opportunity to have fun.

Norman Cousins, brought to our attention how laughter can be healing or reducing symptoms. You may recall that he had a serious and painful illness. He discovered that 10 minutes of laughter could lead to one hour that was pain-free. Laughter releases endorphins that are more powerful than morphine. These endorphins can lead to a sense of well-being and optimism.

Who said that fun and work were mutually exclusive? Have we unknowingly incorporated the quote used in exercise "no pain, no gain" to the workplace? We use a lot of violent language in business. Terms like bottom line, cut throat, cutting edge, infiltrating, pain killers, take over bids, power struggles, branding, targets, and price wars to name a few. All with a negative focus!!

Lets turn that around ? Bring out that ability to laugh, dust it off, and go for the gold… the golden sounds of someone enjoying himself or herself. You may ask "What if I make a fool of myself?" That may happen, but you will be in great company.

Announcing an Engagement !!

7/9/2014

It’s interesting where words and phrases can take us.
I regret I am not newly betrothed, however I do have engaging moments! What do I mean by that?

Well I am increasingly heartened by what I experience in my encounters in business and life. We are experiencing a new wave of connection that is going to herald the way we do business from here on ! This new and positive way is contributing to both individual and team productivity as the following demonstrates.

A productive workplace is created when we can engage with others in such a way that we support people to improve enthusiasm and morale, boost their individual performance and optimise their attitude. This degree of connection or engagement contributes to improved personal work satisfaction, creates a sense of belonging, and renewed confidence around engaging with others. This is across the board and includes peers, managers and clients alike.

The degree to which we can achieve this is based on our capacity to remain good humoured in the face of the life events that shape our experience. I spoke recently with Chris Heilbronn, the CEO of Kensington Swan and was heartened by his management and leadership style. When I enquired how he spent his day he said it was spent with his people and supporting them to manage their problems. Absolutely comfortable in his own skin, his open communication style is immediately engaging and, I would counter, has supported the implementation of their new vision for their relationships with each other and with their clients.

Engaging at a deeper level and securing a new degree of intimacy is the foundation of their approach. In this culture they connect in a meaningful way, uniting products, services and now client intimacy , to build successful relationships in life and at work. As they come to know each other, the level of respect and mutual trust grows. In that environment people are comfortable to laugh at themselves, be authentic, and as a result perform to optimum. .

At the recent Microsoft Business Expo the Dept of Labour cited in its documents successes achieved by Goodtime Food in Napier. Their CEO Phil Pollett said “ you invest in your people, get them talking to you and you also invest in the infrastructure to make their ideas happen in a reasonable time. The result is a winning team.”

Patch Adams, US MD says in his book Gesundheit “ People crave laughter as if it were an essential amino acid….the bottom line when you ask people about what they love about life is the fun that they have.. with great insight we call the funny person the life of the party!” Perhaps there is a message there for humour to bring energy and life back to business?